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Wednesday, April 30, 2008
nobody dares to tell me about it. i rushed down immediately to see you when my paper ends. the biggest joke was, the taxi driver actually drove me to the wrong place, but it didnt really matter anymore. for you have already gone for a few hours. why didnt you wait for me?? :( i didnt even get the chance to see you or talk to you for the last time!! i really regret not visiting you yesterday!!!!!! not spending more time with you, not showing more care and concern for you. and not taking care of you during your last days. you were not really happy for the past few days, and were in great pain. and it didnt help when i got really fed up with all the exam stuff. all i want to say is, im very very sorry. and am regretting so damn much right now. i have not been a good girl, i deserved to be slapped. it felt so surreal seeing you lying motionless on the bed, when i touched your face, it was so cold. i dont know what to say to you just now. i just hope that you are now in a better place, for you are no longer suffering. all this has dragged on for so long, i really admire your preseverence and your fighting spirit, but in the end, you still succumbed to the illness. :( the ones who truly love us never really leave us. they will forever remain in our hearts. i miss you a lot. and i hope that you will look down on us wherever you are, and that we will meet again one day. im grieving right now. im crying as im typing this. i dont know how im going to survive for the next few days. and i still got another paper on mon. we will be saying our final goodbyes on sat. it will be very very heartbreaking. and am not looking forward to tml. |